For my 5th or 6th birthday my parents organised a birthday party at Mcdonalds for me with a load of friends. I was told that Ronald himself would be there by the staff apon arriving, and up untill my first exctacy pill had never felt joy so intence! Whence our feast of happy meals had been devoured it was time for the CAKE! It arived at the table by the hands of the misserable faced staff of sunny old Maccy D’s whilst they all cringed (with the exception of one rather camp young man) and sang happy birthday to me. It was almost time for me to cut the cake.

Now this may all seem fine and dandy but what proceeded has scared me for life and I blame this one singuler moment on the failings of every other single aspect in my life that has ever gone wrong!

Now before handed the knife to take the first cut I was told It was time to meet Ronald. We were given the task of searching for him, but to all of us young wipper snappers, as brighter bunch of slooths as we were, there was no sign of ol’ Donald in the building. Alarm bells started ringing in my head. Had I been duped? I paniked and even started looking under the pull up base’s of the mushroom stools they used to lavishly furnish the awe inspireing venues out with back in them days. Still no Donald.

Getting rather upset and defeatist I resided to cutting the cake in hope that mabey Ronald was running a little late. Mabey a trafic jam had held him up? Mabey he was in the toilet? Then one of the morbid faces of the red and yellow cloathed overlookers opened and words came out saing something I can vaugly rember as “Mabey Ronald is hiding in the cake”. Now at the tender age of 5 with all my hopes and dreams layed down infront of me in the form of a cake, I held the knife high above my head (I’m exagerating that bit a litlle) and cut the cake waiting for Ronald to burst out to the tune of happy birthday. The swines, they had lied to me! There was no Ronald Mc Donald to make my birthday compleat.

I don’t remeber much after that other then waking up 2 days later still crying from the traumer of the whole ordeal. My world, was ruined!

I would rather eat pickled eggs for Breakfast, Brunch, Lunch, Dinner AND Tea every day for the rest of my life. rather then be stalked by a fraud and a hoodwink such as Ronald Mc Donald, if that is even his real name!

Burger King or Mc Donalds?

TO THE WINDOWWWWW!!!!!! TO THE WALL. TO THE SWEAT DROP DOWN MY B****
:laugh_at:
Err, cos lil jons cooler, like, innit?

midget or giant

marmite or a slap?

fruit and fibre

up in the air or deep under the sea

inna inna jungle!

techno or psytrance?

Night
Walk
Travel

prosthetic arm or a Heather Mills leg

piss sack makes an excellent water bomb:-)

which would you rather ….yorkshire or lancashire

regards
Mungo
ps i fear i may have started the war of the roses again lol

er tough one to …..ah im gonna cheat and say sausages but only if they are pork and stilton 🙂 stilll get my cheese fix

telly tubby or space hopper lol

regards
Mungo