Forums The Vibe Chat what should i do ?

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  • #1037813
    Acidplumber
    Participant

      i fancy a mate (female ) but i not sure wheather to tell her or not.
      i went out with her 1st when we both fairly young but it didnt go any where it was only for a couple of weeks and i wasnt really there as i was doing alot of drugs and was in a bit of a haze and reacted quite childishly when we stopped going out .
      then she went out with one of my mates and i used to see her a fair amount at raves and got on well with her and became freinds.
      anyway my mate treated her fairly badly at the end he became abusive towards her and i didnt see either of them for a few years.
      then i saw her a while back and she had a new boyfreind and seemed quite happy i really didnt give her to much thought.
      roll on this year and she rings me up out the blue and asks if im up for ravin with her again and i go out with her and a mate and its all very casual i have a good time and so does she.
      the trouble is i recently cant get her out of my head …i hoped it would just go away but it didnt and i find my self really caring for her and wanting to be with her but i dont want to ruin our freindship.
      i feel like if i dont say anything i will be deciving her by being her freind and thinking somthing entirly different .
      i have so many of the same tastes as her and i really like her but i dont want to blow the thing out of proportion and say things that could put her off me entirly .
      basicly how do i explain how i feel without coming over all heavey on her ?
      im not very good with the whole emotions thing and im usaly either like a rock or a gibbering wreck not a good place to be .
      help please i really need some advise as i dont know what to do. :shy:

      #1073420
      raverbaby
      Participant

        Acid what are you waiting for you shouldnt need advice its obvious you need to express your true feelings, even if it were to go badly you will be alot better off rather than watching her from a far and never telling her how you feel. If she is a good m8 then she should be able to be understanding of your feelings if you tell her how you feel. Either way my advice is to go for it, The biggest risk in life is not taking any risks at all:horay: :horay: :horay:

        #1073428
        Sound-Guy
        Participant

          sum times i find if u have known a girl for quite a while n u get on really well then it dont allways go that well but blatently see if she feels the same way!

          #1073422
          Acidplumber
          Participant

            the trouble is ihave only just started seeing her after about a year of not having any contact at all i dont want to freak her out !! should i just try and stay friends for the moment?

            #1073432
            Angel
            Moderator

              Depends how much you value your friendship with here..

              #1073424
              Jon_tooth
              Participant
                raverbaby wrote:
                Acid what are you waiting for you shouldnt need advice its obvious you need to express your true feelings, even if it were to go badly you will be alot better off rather than watching her from a far and never telling her how you feel. If she is a good m8 then she should be able to be understanding of your feelings if you tell her how you feel. Either way my advice is to go for it, The biggest risk in life is not taking any risks at all:horay: :horay: :horay:

                If this girl just sees him as a mate, telling her he has those sort of feelings for her could easily spell the end of their friendship.

                It’s not always best to tell people how you really feel, not if you value what you have with her now.

                #1073433
                Angel
                Moderator

                  Right…Just my point:bigsmile: ..If there is somthing there,let here take the first step..If not,be happy to have a good friend..Can never have to many.

                  #1073425
                  Jon_tooth
                  Participant
                    ange1 wrote:
                    Right…Just my point:bigsmile: ..If there is somthing there,let here take the first step..If not,be happy to have a good friend..Can never have to many.

                    People who think honesty is ALWAYS the best policy are a little bit naieve in my opinion.

                    #1073417
                    JE5
                    Participant
                      Jon_tooth wrote:
                      People who think honesty is ALWAYS the best policy are a little bit naieve in my opinion.

                      Yeah, but there’s nothing worse than that gutting feeling of not having done anything about it at the time when you had the chance.

                      #1073426
                      Jon_tooth
                      Participant
                        JE:5 wrote:
                        Yeah, but there’s nothing worse than that gutting feeling of not having done anything about it at the time when you had the chance.

                        You can usually tell if it is worth bothering or not.

                        If you can’t then asking random people on the net is NOT the best way to go IMHO.

                        #1073419
                        Irie
                        Participant

                          I would give it more time, if it’s meant to be and all that, aint sure though but i guess you need to think how you would react if she said she still wanted to be friends. Good luck yeah.

                          #1073427
                          CT23
                          Participant

                            Yer man try and pull her through a romantic time together then if she isnt interested just completely let go and think well she obviously aint right for me if she wants something else

                            but atleast she is still a good m8 and there are other women out there for me . . .

                            #1073430
                            the_fiddler
                            Participant

                              tell her man ya never know she might feel the same way

                              #1073431
                              UTCC
                              Participant

                                it’s summer

                                touch her up and see if she slaps ya

                                #1073429
                                Sol
                                Participant

                                  As you live in Cambridge shes probably already shagged most of your mates summers coming up ther’ll be plenty a chicks about dont go over old ground mate. Incest core sucks

                                  #1073421
                                  raverbaby
                                  Participant

                                    UTCCit’s summer

                                    touch her up and see if she slaps ya

                                    lol!!

                                    #1073418
                                    globalloon
                                    Participant

                                      if she’s been in an abusive relationship then be prepared to take your time, she’s likely to have a hard time trusting anyone, especially if you acted like a dick yourself last time

                                      but you should tell her how you’re feeling

                                      if she says no then respect that

                                      if you don’t ask then it’ll do your head in when she starts seeing someone else and you’ll never know

                                      although if she dumped you once, perhaps it’s better to forget about it

                                      #1073423
                                      Acidplumber
                                      Participant

                                        i think ill play the wait and see game my biggest problem (in the past ) is rushing in and almost declaring my undying love …not cool or helpful. if it happens then great if it dont …well i can always go on a massive self destructive drug binge that will hopefully fry those anoying emotions away
                                        cheers for the help i know the net aint the best place to air problems but some times u just need someone elses veiw.

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                                      Forums The Vibe Chat what should i do ?