- This topic has 33 replies, 16 voices, and was last updated August 13, 2012 at 2:41 am by TIROTGWD.
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July 24, 2012 at 6:32 pm #1053562
A couple of mates came down for the weekend to see fatboyslim. It was a huge build up and we were sooo excited about it.
The night before we went for a few drinks at the pub, because I don’t drink much nowadays I drank waaaay to much. I started on guinness of course then my mate talked me into a drink called ‘old rosie cider’
I get twated beyond belief and get all lovey dovey sentimental old lush on everyone ”I love you mann!’ Ran riot down the streets and jumped on walls. When we get home I grab my fatboy slim ticket and wave it around ‘BAZAZAZAZAZ!!! ” take my clothes of and dance around with it.
I then resume to putting the ticket down my bum crack and running around the room.In my bizaar state I decide I might lose my ticket so had better hide it…from myself.
I woke up and couldn’t find my ticket, rang up my friends who just laughed at my tears :'( (tears of stress at this point I had been searching since 10am and it was near 1 o clock. )I then climbed on top of 2 chairs and had a butchers from the top of my flat all over. I randomly and just by sheer golden chance found it at the back of my wardrobe shoved under a duvet between two old envelopes.
Apparently I pressed my bum against my bfs favourite shop window, because we had a disagreement but I don’t remember that and to be honest I recon my friends where lying.
-what twatty shinanigans have you done recently ?
July 24, 2012 at 6:40 pm #1256420LOL you so crazy.
Well not much recently my-self but I have done LOADS of stupid things before. like asking a copper if he has ever done LSD while having a huge white ring of dried up drugs round my nose. Allowing myself to be robbed by the volks bouncers 3 times in one weekend. (long story) walking directly into a door frame K’d up. Talking shit about a customer while they can here me on the phone. Farting loudly at work while customers are behind me. There is far too much to list from my tragedy that I call life.
July 24, 2012 at 6:44 pm #1256426July 24, 2012 at 6:46 pm #1256440My friends and I are so cool with toilet humour I often forget that farts can be considered rude. I did the worst fart EVER in a pub once and my mates all got up and pointed to me, then I apologized to the barmaid 🙁
The girl on Md as me 🙁
July 24, 2012 at 11:52 pm #1256430I’ve done a lot of stupid shit over my life, but its hard to pick one time.
probably the time I rode home from my friends house after a right old ket sesh, I crashed like 5 times and they weren’t little crashes either, full on high sides and general ‘to fucked to be stood up-ness’ lol somehow I’d managed to get home in one piece haha. I’ve learnt my lesson, and I’ve not rode home in that sort of state again.
July 25, 2012 at 1:27 am #1256438I just gave two of my housemates lessons in shaolin staff while completely ketamised. They did pretty well all things considered and there where no actual injuries or anything which is pretty much a miracle really.
When the apocalypse comes they will be ready! 🙂
July 25, 2012 at 4:23 am #1256425I love Old Rosie Cider, there’s a pub in Torquay that sells it what I used to go in all the time when I lived down there for a bit. Found this place you can buy it online in huge bottles as well. 😀
July 25, 2012 at 12:17 pm #1256421ketamised, great word man.
July 26, 2012 at 4:10 am #1256439either drunk driving with my mom in the passenger seat at 15, or….. showing up to school after drinking a fifth of vodka over the night and trying to convice the police that there were more serious criminals in the school at the moment (like bank robbbers in the cafeteria, and a rapist in the third floor bathroom) and that it would be a good move to let me return to class while he apprehends them haha.
July 26, 2012 at 7:43 am #1256427@NN~Gazatryptamine 489145 wrote:
I’ve done a lot of stupid shit over my life, but its hard to pick one time.
probably the time I rode home from my friends house after a right old ket sesh, I crashed like 5 times and they weren’t little crashes either, full on high sides and general ‘to fucked to be stood up-ness’ lol somehow I’d managed to get home in one piece haha. I’ve learnt my lesson, and I’ve not rode home in that sort of state again.
he means my house. we tried to tell him over n over ‘DON’T GO HOME’ we were having such an epic night gaza was like a zombie from dawn of the dead the original and just came out of a k hole and had it in his head he was gonna bike it home. PLONKER!
July 26, 2012 at 10:34 am #1256431July 26, 2012 at 10:40 am #1256429Last year I went to Bistol, and got got pretty fucked on amt and shrooms. I had work the next day, and had to travel back to my home town in the morning. So to get some sleep I thought it would be a good idea to have some Etizolam, a couple of slurps of vodka and some oxy. Roll on 8am and im a fucking slumbering state, I go to leave the floor that was my home for the night, slip and smash my face on a glass, still thinking its a good idea I should make it to work we get in the car, on the way back we crash in to a central reservation. I make it to work and started trying to serve customers. I was asked to leave. I cant remember any of it, I cant remember even being in the car back, and can’t remember serving customers that I apparently did serve. ( I was told on the Monday I did) I couldn’t even remember being at work. I feel sorry for the people who I had to speak to, a bloodied face, sluring and stumbling. When I saw my mate on the Monday we both agreed we was lucky to be alive. And that we didn’t die on the way home. Me and my friend hate drink driving and was puzzled by the outrageousness of what happened.
July 26, 2012 at 9:39 pm #1256435when i was a kid i went to church for about 5 years, that was u might say pretty stupid… but i feel like its helped my understanding of life, consciousness, our perspectives of consciousness, wants, fears, and that herding people can be as easy as herding cattle as long as u have a solid method and can create a feeling of authority
July 27, 2012 at 12:55 am #1256428too much stupid stuff which i don’t wanna post here because i know people read a lot of the stuff i type on here and they don’t need to know. most of the dodgy stuff i write about i don’t care if they read tbh but the stuff i’d put in this thread … well… you know me a lot of you guys lol
July 27, 2012 at 5:27 am #1256434Walked around a St. Patty’s day parade with over 300,000 people lining the sidewalks, on 200mg nasal MXE and 100mg of 6-APB.
What… the actual… fuck…
August 4, 2012 at 4:29 pm #1256433pished in my mates fridge whilst his ma was cooking chips. i didnae even see her as she deep fried away lol
“WTF are ye doing!!! that’s the fuckin fridge ya dirty wee bastard!!”
i’m apoligising profusely and full of shame and she hits me with…”them sausages were for fuckin TEA!!
what a redder!i must say though, i laughed like fuck and was quite rightly thrown out.
long time ago mind
August 4, 2012 at 6:29 pm #1256441Could of washed the pishy sausages.
August 4, 2012 at 11:47 pm #1256423lots and lots (!!!) of messy times over the years
I think my most totally unmemorable recent moment was last year,
went to a festival and was on a right mission to celebrate after back to studying after 13 years,
had to put my life on hold for 1 year, i totally blame p0ly and daftvaderI got some acid when very drunk and all i been told is: I was rolling about on my arse in the mud (at 35!!) refusing to get up
what i remember is saying ‘shiney shiney pretty pretty’ a lot looking at my hands, and Marcus turning the van lights off about 4 am to try and shut me up.
I do however remember the next day and not wanting to leave the van…….. til 4pm and then having to drink through it …….
August 5, 2012 at 12:10 am #1256442Haha, I look forward to going out with you lot soon 🙂
August 5, 2012 at 12:18 am #1256424@apatheticsquirral 490305 wrote:
Haha, I look forward to going out with you lot soon 🙂
I’m normally very very sensible, I blame the boys……. :laugh_at:
August 5, 2012 at 12:30 am #1256443You want to be sensible, which is just as good.
August 5, 2012 at 1:07 am #1256432This is pretty stupid…sitting (laying to be honest) here watching highlands 5 and thinking I should really go to sleep or play some battlefield…..
August 11, 2012 at 9:21 pm #1256415@apatheticsquirral 490238 wrote:
Could of washed the pishy sausages.
are you another Scottish expat in SE England (like Acidfairy) by any chance? (fairly sure that “pish” is a Scots word at least in some of the dialects…..)
August 11, 2012 at 9:29 pm #1256444@General Lighting 491272 wrote:
are you another Scottish expat in SE England (like Acidfairy) by any chance? (fairly sure that “pish” is a Scots word at least in some of the dialects…..)
Nah, although I do know a scot I nickname ‘pish shite’ because his answer to almost everything is ‘thats pish’ or ‘thats shite man’
August 11, 2012 at 9:34 pm #1256416@apatheticsquirral 491276 wrote:
Nah, although I do know a scot I nickname ‘pish shite’ because his answer to almost everything is ‘thats pish’ or ‘thats shite man’
comes from Late Middle English apparently, when we still had Ø in our alphabet (I have this great curiosity and interest in North European languages and their history..)
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