@1984 357589 wrote:

but is it a large part of the pleasure you experience, I mean, if you never socialised say apart from with your partner, could that be enough?

no wouldnt be enough, very happy with him and its sometimes tempting not to go out but if i couldn’t it would drive me spare in the end

job very social tho, makes a difference

how bout you?

@1984 357600 wrote:

I have virtually no social interaction with people other than my partner any more, maybe once a month. I am far from happy, but when I do socialise, I just find the small talk and the banter want my to rip my IQ out and burn it. I dont really enjoy it.

I feel like social interaction is a skill I have lost but without it and with the depression on top life really is not really worth being around for.

very few people are worth bein around, work mates are that work-mates, i tend not to go on work nights. depression makes things harder for sure.

good friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, impossible to forget (trite but true)

might not be you, social interaction is difficult an can be well tedious with un-like-minded people, trivial, boring etc best to take it with a pinch of salt when u have to do it, treat it lightly

To be fair I find social occasions a absolute fucking nightmare these days unless I’m under the influence and even then I’m a bit wary – seen too many false people and in some cases too many unstable/violent folks to let my guard down too much

it doesn’t make me a complete hermit though

I go through stages of being solitary and then socialising loads, ironically for a shy person it often ends up that several groups of people are asking for my company all at the same time!

I find if you look and think too deep, about people, who they are etc it makes socialising painful, specially if you are quite self concious. I think that if you are always around people doing stuff, there is no need to think about it, just get on with it, but it is different for people who hardly socialise, to then start socialising.

@1984 357589 wrote:

but is it a large part of the pleasure you experience, I mean, if you never socialised say apart from with your partner, could that be enough?

The difference for me is choice and freedom to make this choice,

if I choose to stay in with my partner alone for a few days this is wonderful and I am completely happy and content, if I were forced to or had no outside interests or social outlet myself – I would find it totally consuming and suffocating

@1984 357600 wrote:

I have virtually no social interaction with people other than my partner any more, maybe once a month. I am far from happy, but when I do socialise, I just find the small talk and the banter want my to rip my IQ out and burn it. I dont really enjoy it.

I feel like social interaction is a skill I have lost but without it and with the depression on top life really is not really worth being around for.

If you have no social outlet – you have to make it yourself –

I realised that my socail and personal interests had wained, and I joined an adult ed art class, I joined the local gym (and had to totally force myself intially to go) I started going out, got back into the party scene, back into my interest in the world at large and meeting new friends (unfortunatley daft was one :laugh_at:) and making sure I maintained contact with my ‘regular’ friends rather than waiting for them to contact me,

I’d say if you are finding small talk and social banter difficult maybe you need to try and find friends with similar interests to you who you can have deep and meaningful converstaions with and share an emotional bond with –

saying this – however if you are depressed this is very difficult to do, and you need the motivation to be able to go out and do this and some form of confidence or a good ‘mask’, but some times you need to bite the bullet and give it a go

@1984 357608 wrote:

I threw away every good friend I had really, but then looking back I have no idea if they were good or not. I think I have just become bitter and twisted and full of hate.

Life is hell without people, Life is hell with people. Life is hell is perhaps the most logical conclusion. Perhaps I should be a budist, existence is suffering and all that.

If you cant work out whether they were really good friends

– I’d guess go with your instincts, did they stick by you, support you? offer support – whether wanted or not? as friendship is not one way – it is two way – and if one of my propper mates dropped contact with me – I’d try and find out why, whether I’d done some thing wrong / whether they were ill or needed help or time out etc,

and life can be hell, and life can be good –

without negatives you dont know what possitives are in my opinion –

and i’d rather that then be numb and just exist –

even after the shit and difficulties I have had this year – it has been the good advice and love, support and dancing -I have had that has helped keep me sane…. (well…. that is debateable but you know what I mean :laugh_at:)

it really is a balancing act sometimes

good luck :group_hug