taken from a poster on usenet group uk.rec.cycling (where there are a number of Scottish posters)

OK, it’s nothing like Scotland or Northumbria. But last night for
the first time on Dartmoor, the midgies made themselves felt.

Twas the heart of the moor. A pub I haven’t been to for maybe
20 years (and won’t go back to anytime soon) acted as a windbreak
against the breeze, leaving only hot and very humid.

And they descended upon us. The proper beasties, more commonly
associated with Scotland. Not quite the great clouds, but
plenty enough to drive us inside for our meal.

Will our Scots *please* come and reclaim your property?

—
not me guv