I’ve just heard tonight about my mate having a homophobic assault – black and blue – teeth knocked out and propper propper GBH/ABH, and despite CCTV the guy is going not gulity
this is not stopping my friend from completing his masters, or being openly gay or trying to take what he can from life

as i said nasty horrid stuff happens but if you focus on this nothing is ever gonna feel better for you, he is focusing on what he has control of and what he is able to do and (yes he is in therapy) but its not stopping him from living

@Tank Girl 442751 wrote:

I’ve just heard tonight about my mate having a homophobic assault – black and blue – teeth knocked out and propper propper GBH/ABH, and despite CCTV the guy is going not gulity
this is not stopping my friend from completing his masters, or being openly gay or trying to take what he can from life

as i said nasty horrid stuff happens but if you focus on this nothing is ever gonna feel better for you, he is focusing on what he has control of and what he is able to do and (yes he is in therapy) but its not stopping him from living

its sad he got hurt but that doesn’t change my point. In fact hes doing a masters! he has a bright future ahead of him no doubt. I will be lucky if I get to work in Sainsburys…

Though also I am sure he is stronger and good for him, but also lucky him quite frankly.

@Tank Girl 442754 wrote:

I guess again we have to agree to disagree

I hope I dont ever end up so pessimistic / unhappy that I cant ever enjoy simple things such as playing with my cat or appreciate the blossom on trees, or the fact I do not have a disease that impacts or gives me so much pain I cant walk or the fact I have (just) enough money to keep a roof over my head and enough food in my belly… these arnt luxuries these are great things to me

these are the things I am happy for

(I have experienced depression for approx a year and when I look back and reflect ( on my experience) was because I did nothing to help myself or do anything to change my situation – this isnt what I am suggesting is any where near close to the way you are feeling – but what I am trying to say is not everyones experience or out look is the same as yours )

*shrugs* I do enjoy things, I just think that the suffering often out weights the positive. People dont know how bloody lucky they are to be able to see the positive in the world to a point where they can enjoy life. I have never been anything but unhappy as long as I can remember. I have messed up my life so badly it seems unlikely I will be able to achieve anything of personal importance. And even now expressing this does nothing but isolate me further

@extraslim 442759 wrote:

*shrugs* I do enjoy things, I just think that the suffering often out weights the positive. But few people in this world try to end their lives to a point where they believe the attempt is totally certain. So that combined with the other things seems to suggest I am one of the few who have serious problems seeing the world as a positive thing. People dont know how bloody lucky they are to be able to see the positive in the world to a point where they can enjoy life. I have never been anything but unhappy as long as I can remember. And even now expressing this does nothing but isolate me further

I’ve spoken to and spent time (years! and I mean years! day in day out) with loads of other people who think like you = so again your making presumptions you are alone

and again its not about thinking possitive as this is shit and sets us all up for failure as it doesnt exist all the time – realism is what it is about

we are all gonna experience discomfort, disappointment, anxiety and being alone even in a room full of people! that is the joy of living
(see my irony there ? ;P)

and if this is the way you think your gonna be – well it may be shit –

but if you refuse to see any light or goodness in anything you do, any qualitlies you have – any friendships you have – as we have already had this conversation and people on here see you much more differently to how see them or percieve their friendships to you and how you view their realtionships with you –
as I know people here would like to see themselves as your friends –
or even the smallest of acceptance and enjoyment in just the fact you are still alive and didnt die and the relationships you have or the air that you breathe … well – I’d suggest you go back to you r doc and discuss it with them as it seems your extremely low again and need some intervention :group_hug

@Tank Girl 442763 wrote:

I’ve spoken to and spent time (years! and I mean years! day in day out) with loads of other people who think like you = so again your making presumptions you are alone

and again its not about thinking possitive as this is shit and sets us all up for failure as it doesnt exist all the time – realism is what it is about

we are all gonna experience discomfort, disappointment, anxiety and being alone even in a room full of people! that is the joy of living
(see my irony there ? ;P)

and if this is the way you think your gonna be – well it may be shit –

but if you refuse to see any light or goodness in anything you do, any qualitlies you have – any friendships you have – as we have already had this conversation and people on here see you much more differently to how see them or percieve their friendships to you and how you view their realtionships with you –
as I know people here would like to see themselves as your friends –
or even the smallest of acceptance and enjoyment in just the fact you are still alive and didnt die and the relationships you have or the air that you breathe … well – I’d suggest you go back to you r doc and discuss it with them as it seems your extremely low again and need some intervention :group_hug

I dont think I am alone, I think I am in the minority. I am aware perception of reality is the reason why I feel the way I do. And I am aware that I have exhausted medical intervention and its just about excepting I cannot harm myself again and that I need to ignore or accept my feelings, notice them simply as feelings rather than truths and keep trudging on.

@mungo1972 442769 wrote:

Hi extraslim ,
Hows that camping trip going ? , i cant go unfortunetly as i cant get away from work !!!! . Some thing for you to look forward to though eh 🙂

regards
Mungo

they organised it on the 3 weeks of the year when I cannot go lol well popular I am. Its cos I am so cheery 😉

iv often got a really bad buzz for like a minute, during a good session, night out etc , then something bad usually happened within 2-3 weeks, havent got it in bout 2 years though