As I have got older, my confidence has grown, and I love myself more now than I ever did

but I think that was more down to insecurity when younger, and not having confidence in myself

I know lots of people who say they’d love to be young again, but seriously fuck that, I’m happier now than I ever have been, and I guess this is down to experience and really knowing we cant get our esteem from others it really has to come from within

also by not changing my internal beliefs and morals – I had a very disrespectful text off my sister earlier and despite getting angry I felt pity for her as she hasnt grown as a human being and is stuck with believing what the daily mail and sun tell her

@Tank Girl 540098 wrote:

As I have got older, my confidence has grown, and I love myself more now than I ever did

Get a web cam and make a fortune ; )

@Tank Girl 540098 wrote:

but I think that was more down to insecurity when younger, and not having confidence in myself

I know lots of people who say they’d love to be young again, but seriously fuck that, I’m happier now than I ever have been, and I guess this is down to experience and really knowing we cant get our esteem from others it really has to come from within

also by not changing my internal beliefs and morals – I had a very disrespectful text off my sister earlier and despite getting angry I felt pity for her as she hasnt grown as a human being and is stuck with believing what the daily mail and sun tell her

I dont think many people want to be the person they were when they were young, looking back I was a right dick in my teens, when most peeps wish they were young again they want to do it all again knowing what they know now, it’s about fixing the mistakes as much as missing the youth

As for loving god and loving what you do………………… what complete BS

1) If there is a God, he a sadistic cunt for allowing all the evil shit that happens

2) Most peeps work to live, we dont work because we enjoy it or got our dream job, its a means to an end, a way to pay the bills & provide, and it takes up 1/2 our waking lives

@Lshak 540101 wrote:

And you are blessed that even at a later age you even got it

you cheeky fucker, I aint that old!!! :laugh_at:

I’ve always been confident in the way I look, (damn fine)

its just the confidence in decision making etc, that has come with growing up and the knowledge that I do not have to surround myself with harmful people – as I had a lot of toxic addict friends

and I know you are trying to be kind but my sister is a dick, and a very ignorant one at that, and a totally self centered one at that, so no she’s not looking out for me, just judging as I haven’t settled down and become a stay at home mum and had a litter – I dont do negative vs positive – i do negative vs realistic and this is a realistic assessment of the situation

@Lshak 540103 wrote:

Ok your late to the party, god debate is on a completely different thread!

That’s true, but I enjoy working, I enjoy making a name for myself and going up the ranks and getting promotions, I love the feeling done it for every job I’ve worked in, and now its time to propel myself through my career! Each to their own, might sound weird but I enjoy working… But this is beside the topic, maybe you need a job change?

Yeah cause changing professions and stepping down to the bottom run again in a new field when you have bills to pay is soooo easy

Few things more frustrating than simple minded godbotherer

@Mezz 540106 wrote:

Yeah cause changing professions and stepping down to the bottom run again in a new field when you have bills to pay is soooo easy

Few things more frustrating than simple minded godbotherer

I think it’s the unpaid bills that are bothering you more than LShak. I sympathise, debt slavery is evil.

@Lshak 540107 wrote:

Well, 36… Borderline old 😉 hahaha just kidding! I’m sure you skin is still as smooth as a botoxed hasslehoff… Lol 😉
Good ! And I’m sure you are DAMN fine 😛 lol

Yeah that is another big pointer there, realising it is one thing, acting on it is another, definitely a good decision! I think I need to be a bit more selfish at times personally, recognise your flaws but not as easy as you’d like to correct them, me personally

Sounds like my eldest sister, if not exactly like her… If I didn’t know you weren’t I’d have guessed you were my other sister! (Not the eldest) lol.. Hmm interesting, why not try positive vs realistic? I don’t quite understand your way of ‘assessment’ to be honest, you weigh out the negatives and how realistic it is? If so, I’d definitely suggest flipping the negative.

(I don’t want to seem like I’m lecturing someone older than me, but advice comes from all ages, sizes and colours, hope I’m not offending you!)

40 is the new 20 baby 😉

seriously, age is a concept – I may be 36 but was asked for ID for fags this week – without any help from botox :weee: however saying that I’m totally happy and accepting of my age :love:

now thinking wise: in my opinion – if you try to flip a negative into a positive you are often setting your self up to fail,

as life is not all happy clappy rose tinted glasses,

therefore you have to make a realistic judgement of the situation, (not a negative one – which can be our first assessment) …..take a breath and a step back (disengage with it a little emotionally in order to do this) and then you will have a fairer assessment – often it is to do with your own automatic thoughts that get in the way (the way we learn to think – due to past experiences, culture, religion, social situation etc etc – and usually negative – as its unusual for us to have to challenge positive thoughts ) which arent necessarily helpful, it takes time but its a more helpful way of thinking – either that or use mindfulness, much healthier IMO

@Mezz 540122 wrote:

My only debt is my mortgage and it’s less than 50% the value of my property that still dont mean I can just change profession and live on a trainee wage, nor could most people especially ones with families to support, you missed the point completely. Most jobs arent loved by anyone, you said do what you love, the vast majority of people cant, they do what they have to do to live.

I actually love my job, (well most days!) but still work to live!
my only debt is also my mortgage and I completely agree with Mezz,

and at the grand old age of 36 – having started out my career at 18 and trained for 3 years, and then re-training for another year in 2010, I can not afford to change jobs even if I wanted to, as surprisingly my mortgage is cheaper ( for a house) than renting a bedsit where I choose (at the moment) to reside

and I dont actually earn a huge amount (certainly a ‘good wage’ IMO) but not one that would afford me to do all I’d like to – as we have to / choose to pay taxes, insurance, bils etc .. dont actually leave a lot left for actually living

Helping people helps me to love myself. It doesn’t even matter if I know them or not, I would help a complete stranger if they needed it. People say all these things about needing money or love to feel happy, well what about other people? There are so many people out there who need tender love and affection that we haven’t even found. Helping people and seeing the expression on their faces when they are actually experiencing true happiness, well, that’s better than any drug.

@Tank Girl 540105 wrote:

I’ll bare that in mind … if I’m ever skint 😛

I have seriously looked into selling used knickers. You can sell them online for about 10 quid a pair.

Being realistic is most important. It is not the same as being negative but accepting that there are some limits to what you can achieve, due to available resources or your own limits.

There is too much unrealistic “positive” thinking, which taken to extremes can trigger off or even exacerbate mental illness when people go for unrealistic goals and have no chance of achieving them (I saw this happen to a lot of friends and it was why they often got addicted to drugs).

As for work even enjoyable jobs have boring bits and many of the “dream jobs” (if you mean making a living wage from creative stuff) have been eliminated by the same technology that creates this site and our radio station and all our gadgets.

I am lucky that my last two jobs have actually been quite enjoyable and even the one before was nearly a dream job (was being paid to be a broadcast engineer albeit for an outsourced company rather than in a studio) though it turned into a bit of a nightmare for the reasons mentioned above and I ended up back in offices and IT/Finance work and tech support. At the same time I work for a small family run business rather than a big corporate and am respected there and recently got back into the broadcast industry again (albeit as a volunteer), so good things seem to happen eventually if you are prepared to wait for them and are prepared to help others.